Changing old habits that can die hard…
I have a habit of being too hard on myself and looking back at decisions and choices I’ve made and continuously kicking myself, over and over again. One could say that I’m stuck in the past and it’s holding me back and not allowing me to move forward.
Some of you will relate to this, others might say that you’re stuck in a job or relationship that makes you unhappy or maybe stuck in old belief systems, and just can’t seem take the leap, or just a small step forward.
It’s hard, I know, I’ve been there and, believe me, I’m still a work in progress :-). I guess we will always be as we grow and learn.
Today I’ll be sharing with you what has helped me in the process of getting ‘unstuck.’
Let go of the past
For me this has probably been the most difficult. Firstly, because I replay everything in my mind and drive myself crazy, and secondly, because somehow, we think that our past equals our future, so we keep repeating old habits. The secret here, in my opinion, is to change our story. Change it to the way we want our life to play out, live in the present and make a shift from old negative beliefs to new positive ones. It’s not an easy road, but possible and so rewarding. Forgive yourself and know that everything you’ve been through has made you the beautiful person you are today. I love this definition: “Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past!”
Being hard and unkind to yourself just reinforces negative behavior towards yourself and others. Be kind to yourself, take time to do the things you love. Go for a massage, spend time in nature, meditate, get some alone time, eat healthily, exercise. Take care of your body and soul. Love yourself!
This one is so important and many of us, me included, forget to be grateful for where we are at this moment. We are exactly where we need to be and have the choice to go as far and as high as we choose.
Writing down what you are grateful for can be very therapeutic. Either before bed at night or first thing in the morning.
Communicating our feelings, opinions and uncertainties with honesty and integrity can lead to strong and lasting relationships with our loved ones, colleagues and friends. It minimizes misunderstandings, negativity and can also ultimately separate the people that you want in your life and those that you don’t.
Taking action can mean the difference between really staying stuck or complete transformation. At first it seems scary and daunting, but one small step at a time can lead to amazing possibilities. I am sometimes impatient and want everything done yesterday. I’m also afraid of failure or disappointment, all of which holds me back. “Better to have tried and failed, than not to have tried at all.” Be patient, one small step at a time is all you need; just keep moving.
Read “The 4 agreements”
This is one of my favourite books. I’ve read it countless times and whenever I feel like I’m going off track, I refer to it just to remind myself of the four agreements. It’s something that has helped me over the years. My book has been making its rounds for the last few years and has finally found its way back home 🙂
You’ll notice that the agreements tie into what I’ve already mentioned and I thought it’s a good way to end this post 🙂
- Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
- Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
- Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
- Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
Remember that change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey that can take a lifetime. The important thing is to keep moving, keep growing, learning and most of all, believing.
What has helped you get unstuck?